that filthy bathtub

that filthy bathtub


we’re hiding in the bathtub
I’m naïve to her past
her life beginning
just as I took my first breath of air

beneath the warm hugs
behind the old jewelry box
sealed in the rigid lockbox of her mind
my grandmother’s nightmare resides

working overtime, all of the time
Adultery.
a string of insults fired like a machine gun
Verbal abuse.
all of that time, and now all alone
Divorce.

the secret surfs my bloodstream
on a nauseous wave
tainting the secretive moment
and leaving a ring of pain around the bathtub
something’s hidden
between the preserved teeth of her smile
something so broken, she will never be fixed

And I now know.

Soul Shaker

~ For Pudge

The Fire Tamer
The Urban Cowboy
The Lava Walker
Running in
When we’re running out
An explosive flash
Thrown through the air
Eyebrows burned off
Charging back in
To carry a dead child out
With a tear on his chin
He’ll do it again
Tomorrow

Jack and the B52

Jack and the B52

There are giants in the sky

The unmistakable hum cuts through the clouds
Brilliant wingspans stretch to clip the sunlight
Seeking palm trees and foreign jewelry

The golden harp is stolen

Seeking to cease beating hearts
Oversized shadows loom overhead
The forced shudder of machine guns spilling blood

There are big, tall, terrible giants in the sky





*just a strange cross between airplanes and one of my favorite musicals, Into the Woods.

Sestina of a Hero

Sestina of a Hero

He never wanted to play the part of the hero.
He was never trying to fight the good fight.
He was just trying to live his life.
He was trying to make it into a thing of dreams.
He did not go looking for the darkness.
He only went looking for a reason to survive.

It will always come down to one’s will to survive.
Too many believe it is the courage of the hero
That allows him to battle through the darkness
And that allows him to eternally fight.
But that belief is nothing more than dreams;
The hero wants nothing more than to protect his own life.

Or is it? Is it his life? Or is it her life?
Maybe it is because without her he cannot not survive;
Without her has no dreams left to dream.
He has no choice but to dive in as the hero
Because if he loses her in the fight,
He will lose himself in the darkness.

Maybe the world is so completely filled with darkness
That finding meaning in just one life
Is enough reason to fight,
Enough reason to survive,
Enough reason to be the hero,
And enough reason to dream.

I wonder what it is that he dreams…
Of tender hours spent passionately kissing her in the darkness?
Of being their child’s protector and hero?
Of growing old together till the end of and beyond life?
Of always holding her hand no matter the struggle to survive?
Of apologetic and remorseful kisses after their first fight?

That’s worth the fight.
It must be his dreams.
That’s the reason he struggles to survive.
Because he sees a light in the darkness.
Because suddenly there is meaning to his life.
And for the first time ever, he is somebody’s hero.

The life of a hero;
Through the darkness he fights,
Through his dreams he survives.

Mr. Webster

Dear Mr. Webster,

1 week
2 days
11 hours
33 minutes &
47 seconds
Into this relationship
You have failed me.
225,000 words are not enough.

Define:
To Like –
1. To be suitable or agreeable to
2. To feel toward

Define:
To Love –
1. To hold dear: cherish.
2. To feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for.
3. Unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.
4. Attraction based on sexual desire.
5. Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion.

So what is it?
Do I like her?
I like pizza.
I like playing cards.
I like a cold beer.
Certainly she means more than that.
Do I love her?
Maybe it is too soon to know
Just where this is headed
So at this very moment
Might that be too much?

Yet if I more than like her,
But I’m not supposed to love her,
Do I love/like her?
Do I loke her?

What is there in between?
Adore – Fancy – Respect
Treasure – Value – Want
Need – Covet – Crave

No, Mr. Webster,
I do believe
You have let me down.

Sincerely,

Speechless

I am crying in the bathroom

*villanelle with borrowed line from sufjan stevens the great :]*



I am crying in the bathroom

On the floor at the great divide
speckled marble conquers cotton to cool my knees
with my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

Desperate to preserve your scent, I tried
the sterile lilac reflection was enough to freeze
on the floor at the great divide

The textbooks, the nurses, the doctors, they lied
my volume of tears belittles the grandest of seas
with my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

Now the door’s locked tight and I’m still inside
only the predictable linoleum sinks to witness my please
On the floor at the great divide
with my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

This is something I've really wanted to get out there for a while. I came across this the other day when I was looking for places to share poetry at in the area. I was expecting to find coffee houses with someone beating on the bongos, the stereotypical TV version and I think the way it was featured on "Boy Meets World." I figured Mr. Feeny can't be wrong, right? Well what I found was what's called poetry Slams. In my opinion, this stuff is insane. I've been doing some research on it and its amazing. People compete across the world to be the master of "spoken word". A lot of times the judges are picked out of the audience - how cool is that? Five judges score the poets from 1-10, and the highest and lowest scores are dropped. Then the lowest scoring half of poets are dropped at the end of each round. Essentially, half the poets are cut each round until there is a winner. I've posted my favorite video yet below, I really think it's amazing. The poem is called "Scratch and Dent", and its spoken by Eric Darby. Before you dismiss the video as some hippy and boring recitation of poem, give it a listen. It's... almost a spoken word rap, but better cuz the messages in Slam Poetry are often positive and uplifting while observing the world we live in. It's hard to describe, but it is an incredibly energizing style of poetry and incredibly impressive. Much different than what we learn in school, but i like it! Check it out!



myspace layouts

two

"being in love is like being in love.
even trees are in love."

-kirby strunk

one

Betty Crocker Can Shove It

I sealed the mold
filled with liquid you
with a simple meeting by the pond

placed behind the loudest kettle
I simmered jealousy and bubbled disappointment
where’s the recipe card for second place?

a full year later
the egg timer sounds in bitter celebration
I’ve lost your independent freckles and your crooked teeth

he is the mold and you have been molded
and I am lost among the side dishes
on the dinner table of relationships


-twilight.10.2.07

number oNe

Blog Post Number 1! Where to begin? So much poetry so little time. Well, first off, welcome to Forty Two Cellar Doors! Poetry, music, the arts, it's all here! (or will be soon!). If your looking for a place to see and discuss some new poetry, hear about some old favorites, or learn about some crazy new happenings in the art world, well, you're in the right place. What will we talk about? Who knows! But hopefully your intrigued enough to keep reading. So back to the big question, where do we begin. I guess we'll start with a poem I just wrote (sorry for being vain, haha, but theres a point to looking at it!)

________________________________________________

She Was Beautiful...

I had worked my life away for that car…
Dreamed of it since I was a little child,
Planning out every exact specification,
Supervising its execution every step of the way.

Spinning chrome rims on 20 inch wheels
Which were specially imported from Italy
And designed to be wider and lower
For grip on high speed turns in the dead of night.

Painted by the best money could buy,
It was a deeper blue than the Caribbean itself,
With bright red flames engulfing both doors,
And a white racing stripe running right up the middle.

The pushrod 8.3 liter dodge engine roared louder
Than a Hell’s Angels Family Reunion party,
With all 505 horses galloping under the hood
Racing to make it from zero to sixty in 4.0

All Scrap metal compared to the perfect girl
Driving it away from my shattered world,
Leaving me with nothing but regret
As I watch the taillights fade into the distance.

________________________________________________

Well, here's what's on my mind. What do people think about poems with a twist? I wrote this poem given the following premise: "Amass numerous details, and then come to some startling conclusion." If your trying to think of some other examples like this, look at "The Filling Station" by Elizabeth Bishop or "Lying In a Hammock" by James Wright. For my poem, some people said that the sudden twist was jolting and distracting. Others said they liked it because it reinforced the true meaning of the poem. A famous author who visited our class, Michael Salcman, said that the "twist" can be an incredibly powerful tool. I personally tend to like it. Straight poems are good, but at the same time, they can put you to sleep eventually. If you can cleverly insert some type of twist, it's like an alarm clock going off in the readers head. It knocks them back and makes them think, "Wow, what just happened here?" Another comment that I got for my poem is that I never explained how or why it ended the way it did, with the girl driving the guy's car away. How did the girl get HIS car that he worked so hard on? Well for me, its not something I want to answer. I want the reader to fill in the answer themselves. There are many possibilities. Maybe the car was never his, but his life sucks and he just watched the girl and car of his dreams drive by, just adding insult to injury. Then again, maybe he had it all, but he was so into the car, perfection, and achievement that the perfect girl left him. I dunno, but I would rather you fill in what feels best for you. Or do many of you out there think the blanks should be filled by the poet? I'm interested to hear your thoughts! Also feel free to leave any comment about how we can improve the site, or even send us your own works and we'll see if we can't get a few up!